August 20, 2006

 

Up yours Alexei Trudovsky!!!

The idiot son of an asshole...Alexandre Trudeau, recently wrote a "loving" piece on Fidel Castro that appeared in the Toronto Star. Here is my personal response to it, along with actual excerpts from this jerkoff's "essay" as first posted to the cyf-talk listserv.

Wow....really, wow. Christ, who needs state-run propaganda when you can have the Star.

Seriously, wow. Pierre himself was pretty good at [*insert any obscene sexual reference here*] on Fidel, but Alexandre takes it up a notch and really [*insert a more obscene sexual reference than the previous one here*] good.

Not only does Tru-deaupe manage to glorify a thug who has outright refused to allow his "privileged" children any say in the direction of their own future, he further refuses to accept just how real Cuba's involvement in aiding and abetting the "evil empire" was to our own security and safety. But, of course, that's okay because Castro was trying so hard to learn as much knowledge as he could, no doubt freeing his people from having to worry about such inconveniences such as governance. I'm sure Kim Jong Il has probably already arranged the kidnapping, and I'm sure Amadihnajad and aspiring "all-knowing patriarch" Hugo Chavez are preparing plans to offer ol' Alexei his very own foreign-based newspaper chain. Shit, if he can fool people in Toronto (...in the spirit of politeness to our listserv's "locationally challenged," I will refrain from the usual smart-ass Toronto comment that I would normally follow up with here...:) then certainly those suckers in Caracas and Tehran will be very excited to learn about how enlightened their own "Herculean" overseers are.

Hell the way things sound I wouldn't be surprised if Pierre himself would've allowed the Soviets some "silo space" if it weren't for those pesky, controlling, murdering, thieving, puppy-stomping Americans being so darn close. Seriously, wow. What the hell was wrong with voters in the 70's anyway??? It would be like a Liberal leader nowadays attending a celebration for an internationally recognized terrorist organiza.....oh never mind.

>ALEXANDRE TRUDEAU
>SPECIAL TO THE STAR (...with omitted parts re-entered)

>Indeed, like my father, in private, Fidel is not a politician. He is
>more in the vein of a great adventurer or a great scientific mind.
>Fidel doesn't really do politics. He is a revolutionary.

...and a tyrant, just like my father.

>He lives to learn and to put his knowledge in the service of the
>revolution. For Fidel, revolution is really a work of reason. In his
>view, revolution, when rigorously adopted, cannot fail to lead
>humanity towards ever greater justice, towards an ever more perfect
>social order.

...for those who lead the revolution.

>Fidel is also the most curious man that I have ever met. He wants to
>know all there is to be known. He is famous for not sleeping,
>instead spending the night studying and learning.

...and interrogating and plotting and jailing and...

>His intellect is one of the most broad and complete that can be
>found. He is an expert on genetics, on automobile combustion
>engines, on stock markets. On everything.

...just like every other collectivist, elitist asshole out there, including many Liberals.

>Combined with a Herculean physique and extraordinary personal
>courage, this monumental intellect makes Fidel the giant that he is.

...[*refer back to the more obscene sexual reference here*]

>Back on the surface, they feasted on the raw sea urchins, seasoned
>with lime juice.

...a typical meal for many proud Cubans.

>Fidel may seem an anachronism: a visionary statesman in a world
>where his kind have long since been replaced by mere managers, a
>20th-century icon still present in the 21st century.

...until he hits the next flight of stairs. (BTW - download the video, it's funny as hell.)

>Cubans remain very proud of Castro, even those who don't share his
>vision. They know that, among the world's many peoples, they have
>the most audacious and brilliant of leaders. They respect his
>intellectual machismo and rigour.

...not to mention his ability to immediately stifle any debate with his macho intellect.

>But Castro's leadership can be something of a burden, too. They do
>occasionally complain, often as an adolescent might complain about a
>too strict and demanding father. The Jefe (chief) sees all and knows
>all, they might say. In particular, young Cubans have told me that
>an outsider cannot ever really imagine what it is like to live in
>such a hermetic society, where everyone has an assigned spot and is
>watched and judged carefully. You can never really learn on your
>own, they might say. The Jefe always knows what is best for you. It
>can be suffocating, they say.

I just LOVE the parent-child metaphors between the people and the leadership. Here Alexei Trudovsky is openly acknowledging that only the ruler can know what is best for the ruled. Truly a Canadian-endorsed concept. [*take moment to weep in frustration over how this asshole's asshole father has completely tarnished our political and social culture, perhaps irrevocably*]

>Cuba under Castro is a remarkably literate and healthy country, but
>it is undeniably poor. Historians will note, however, that never in
>modern times has a small, peaceful country been more subjected to
>unfair and malicious treatment by a superpower than Cuba has by the
>United States.

...especially after installing all those "peaceful" nuclear missile sites.

>From the very start, the United States never gave Castro's Cuba a
>choice. Either Castro had to submit himself and his people to
>America's will or he had to hold his ground against them.

...Hey, just like Castro's Cuba has never given Castro's children a choice and he had to hold his ground against them.

>With the possible exception of Nelson Mandela, already well into
>retirement, Fidel is the last of the global patriarchs. Reason,
>revolution and virtue are becoming more and more distant and
>abstract concepts. We will perhaps never see another patriarch.

GOOD. BECAUSE A PATRIARCH CAN NEVER BE HELD AS A REASONABLE OR VIRTUOUS CHOICE OVER INDIVIDUAL FREEDOM... OR THE WILL OF THE PEOPLE.

>We thus have to conceive of the departure of the last patriarch in
>psychoanalytical terms. The death of the father doesn't signal our
>liberation from him — quite the contrary. The death of a father so
>grand and present as Castro will, rather, immortalize him in the
>minds of his children.

...AND IN THE GUYS WHO DO OBSCENE SEXUAL FAVOURS FOR HIM IN PRIVATE WHILE BRAGGING ABOUT IT IN THE PAPERS. (Even though it is your constitutional right. Both.)

>It is true that Cubans may eventually cast away the communist
>orthodoxy of the revolution. They will become tempted by American
>capital and values as soon as the embargo against them is lifted,
>something that will surely follow in the not so distant future. They
>will have new opportunities for individual fulfilment and downfall.
>Without a doubt, Cuba without Castro will not remain unchanged.

...unfortunately for me and my elitist clique of fellow "knowledge-seekers."

>But Cubans will continue to be subjected to Castro's influence.
>Whether they like it or not, they will continue to be called out by
>his voice, by his questions, by his inescapable rationality, which,
>whether they heed its call or not, demands they defend the integrity
>of Cuba and urges them to seek justice and excellence in all things.

...which is cool, because he sure as hell never did anything like it when he was living.

>Cubans will always feel privileged that they, and they alone, had Fidel.

...and Canadians had, and they alone, had Pierre. Who continues to torture us to this day through the passing of genetic material to this douchebag suckup.

Still weeping,
Jared.

PS - I now have three things on my "to do" list if I ever go to Montreal.
1. Give P.E.T. gravestone the finger.
2. Offer Rene Levesque statue a cigarette, (and a light).
3. Kick Alexandre Trudeau square in the balls. Hard.

PPS - He really should take up snowboarding...yeah, I went there. (>:-P)


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